degrees>of>losing

i'm gonna make it after alllllllll

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 01:55:39 GMT

i'm excited about the following:

-i might be transferring to George Mason University

-i might be working all summer at the Senate again (money money money, MONAY)

-i should be getting a car by june or july! (and learning to drive it by august)

-i might get an apartment for the summer in DC

-i am buying a mini-stepper that fits right in my room for accessible workouts!

-i might be moving in with vernon and friend kevin in august

-and i might just be a genius because i just figured out my statistics hw!

wee. :)

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 16:15:59 GMT

last night's dream: i was in rotterdam, nl and a terrorist group had infiltrated the city and was hunting down and killing americans. all americans had to evacuate the city, and i made it alive! for once, i survived a scary dream. it was neat, i approached strangers to know about short cuts or places i could temporarily hide- which was strange because all around me big camera-like guns were pulled on people left and right. i hid in a scientific research building, which was interesting, but i got to the subway and i was safe!

anyway, this is what hyperdictionary.com says: Dreaming that you escape from injury, from an animal, or from any situation means your good health and prosperity. You will experience a favorable turn of events.

i don't really believe in dream dictionary's, but they're like fortune cookies and horoscopes- they can only make you feel better, rarely worse. :)

amanda is visiting tonight after she gets off work. she's coming to my classes with me tomorrow. eee. i'm pretty excited! though i can't wait for spring break. we have plans to get manicures and pedicures, to get haircuts, and to have 40(oz)-night like old times. in addition to other various activities. ahh, best fren.

valentines day :)

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 17:26:43 GMT

eee there was a knock at the door, and i went to answer it and there was a basket of daisies. i figured they were for mary or christina since they had boyfriends but they were for meeeee. my "best fren" sent me flowerrrrs. and that just made my day!

my roommate and i made up yesterday. she apologized, so i apologized. and i laid it on thick too, being extra girly and shit. haha i said "yay, i'm so glad we're talking again!" and then went outside and cracked up for like 5 minutes. i don't know why i found it so funny... maybe because it worked. but anyway, now living here won't completely suck, but she still gets on my nerves.

this is a sign that i watch too much tv, but i can completely relate to vonda, on The Real World, who said "how do you tell someone you can't stand their personality?" and it's really something you CAN'T say. you can't change someone, so by telling them that it can only offend them. it's not constructive. but it happens. you just hate someone's personality and there's no way to get around it. i just have to deal with it.

they were handing out free krispy kreme donuts today. all over. it took so much will power to just walk on by. my 2 favorite things in life- junk food and free stuff. oh free stuff, how i love thee. ;-;

happy valentines day!

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 16:29:14 GMT

i hate meeting new people. i hate my roommates. i'm 131 miles away from my friends. spring break is 20 days away, and that's when i get to go home again. except i don't really have a home. i'm not welcome at my dad's house, unless i sneak in around the back and sleep on the couch in the basement.

the only thing i have have to look forward to each day is following my diet plan. so i think about food all the time. planning out my meals, waiting to eat my snacks, wondering what vegetable to eat with dinner, etc. i obsess over food to the point where i'm distracted if i try to do my homework.

i've never watched so much tv in my life. i watch the news and saved by the bell in the morning and then i watch tv all day after school until i go to sleep. i think television turns people into zombies, but i have nothing better to do than zombification.

there are so many things i could be doing, that i want to do. going to shows, plays, improv nights, lectures and discussions about social or global topics, going to the movies, to the gym, going on walks or drives, exploring harrisonburg and finding neat mom-and-pop shops or locating the international foods market i've heard about. but i have no one to share any of that with.

my step-mom wants to move to colorado because she thinks she will be happy there. my dad says if you aren't happy where you're at, you won't be happy anywhere. it's not external factors that need to change but internal. i knew that was true when i moved out of my mom's condo, i knew that was true when i moved here, and i know that will be true when i move back home. but i want to transfer away from this school. i feel like i might as well have died last august for all the living i haven't done since i came here.

i dunno. what makes a person happy?

bah. i've never felt so immature but college seems to do that to you

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 19:13:18 GMT

i live in an off-campus apt and i have my own room. i share the bathroom with roomie1 who lives in the room next to mine. on the other side of the apt is roomie2 and roomie3, who are never here. but roomie1 has always had a problem with roomie2 because she used to leave her shit everywhere, they used to get in fights and roomie1 would always talk shit- like a broken record.

anyway, i just got in a fight with roomie1 today. she's been annoying me for a while, so this has built up over a long period of time.

yesterday she said she was going home for the weekend. last night i started to do my laundry. when i opened the dryer to put my clothes in, her damp towels were in there. it was late and i needed clothes, so i put them ontop of the dryer. she randomly comes back this morning and while i am doing dishes she goes to the laundry room and exclaims "someone put my towels on the dryer." i told her i did it because i needed my clothes done. she goes "thanks a lot!" and then throws all my clothes at (not necessarily ON) the washer.

i finished doing the dishes and then walked to my room. she stops me and says "you really need to clean the living room" with attitude streaming out her pores. i thought this was funny and said "really?" she goes "yeah. i just cleaned the kitchen (by which i assume she means she took out the trash and her pizza boxes) so you clean the living room. see how this works? i know you hate cleaning--" and that's when i cut her off. "no, i don't hate cleaning. but none of the shit out here is mine." and she's like "fine, i'll clean up my stuff, then you vacuum." and while she's cleaning up her shit she mutters, "if we're going to act like you're 2 years old..." and i was like oh hell no. "i'm not acting like a 2 year old. you always tell me to clean, when there is nothing out here but YOUR shit. everywhere. and all the time. it's hypocritical for you to get on my case about cleaning when you leave shit all over the apt." and then she starts acting like a victim "why is it that i'm the only one around here that knows how to use a mop and vacuum?" and that's when i went off on her. "you aren't the only one that cleans and you never do it anyway. you're the next roomie2 and i hope you know that." and she said to me "well then move the fuck out!" and she stormed out, slamming the glass door. 5 seconds later she came back in and locked her bedroom door, then left again.

it was a lame fight. i got to say a lot of shit i've been wanting to say for a while. but i know myself and i know her by now. i don't think i did anything wrong and she feels the exact same way.

but i can't STAND catty girls. especially self-righteous catty girls. they need to be brought down a notch.

sweet home northern virginia, lawd i'm coming home to you

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 12:48:18 GMT

it's jeremy's birthday this weekend and there was some discussion of my coming back home to celebrate with everyone. well i couldn't afford a ticket and amanda didn't have money for gas so we tossed the idea. but amanda helped me scheme once more and i am buying a one-way ticket and then on sunday she is driving me back to the Burg.

originally, it was supposed to be amanda surprising me by coming to pick me up. now i am surprising jeremy and vernon by going to NoVA tonight! the surprise was complicated last night though. i smoked some pot and got stoned and amanda called me and was like "um, i'm with vernon and he is mad at me for not getting you, and he is talking about going to get you." i was like "ummm... cartoons." hopefully they worked that out. :x

donating plasma is cool. i made $50 this week. but i was NOT aware that needles left scars. i figured track marks on junkies was just a result of using drugs ALL the time. now i gotta rub cocoa butta' on my arms.

i joined myspace. and now i don't know what to do with it.

just because.

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 19:43:28 GMT

i'm going to school, going to my classes, doing my homework, reading for pleasure, started a new diet and exercise regimen, and i've dramatically decreased my alcohol and drug intake. all in less than two weeks!

my life is on an upward swing finally! and i am so much happier, despite the fact that bush won. and not only did bush win the elections, but he survived the inaugaration. there was a part of me that expected a crazed lunatic to at least take a shot at him. i think EVERYONE expected it. the news kept one camera on the parade and one camera on the protesters, just waiting for it.

and i've decided if someone in my life is making me unhappy, then it is best to ignore them until they remember how great i am. it worked with my friend lisa. i ignored her calls and text messages for 2 months and now she's coming down to H-burg to visit me and we are going to drink, shroom, smoke pot, and play mario kart. good times. i think my friend vernon is next, because i am definitely underappreciated there.

i finally told my dad i wasn't sure about law school because i wasn't sure which side of the law i was on. it seems hypocritical to me, even though i'm not pursuing law enforcement. he said it doesn't matter, you can pretty much do anything with a law degree. so i'm still thinking about it. :)

as long as i'm alive i'm going to live illegal! haha.

i remember loving spending time by myself. but in the past few years, i would go nuts if i didn't talk to anyone, call anyone, or see anyone on any one day. i always had to be talking to someone. but i've come fond of isolation once again. which has its downsides, i'm sure, but right now it is just what i want.

on monday i am donating plasma for money! wuahaha, i am a good person.

stupid stupid stupid

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 23:38:55 GMT

i typed into my phone

"i just snorted half a caffeine pill to study. i don't think it worked, lol stupid OTC drugs."

and sent it to my dad. by accident.

i ran inside my apt, threw my phone across the apt, threw my cigarette outside, dropped to my knees, and screamed. then i got up and punched the wall screaming NO NO NO. then i threw off my jacket, ran outside, grabbed the cigarette, and took off walking.

my roomie thinks i am nuts.

i took an exam and wrote a paper today. now i have to study for tomorrow's exam. i'm a lil stressed out. and now all i can think about is how STUPID i am.

well, at least my dad knows i am studying.

oodaveedavegenvig. whatever that means :)

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 16:18:26 GMT

last night i had a dream that i was a fan of suzanne summers and she had selected me to be in her new movie. while i was taking a boat tour of her house, patrick swayze snuck inside and killed a boatload of tourists. he got me drunk and tried to kill me, but i ran away and rescued an entire boat of musclehead women. that's the first time i finished a dream where in the end i survived being chased by a murderer. weird :o

anyway, THE NETHERLANDS ROCKED MY SOCKS WITH POX.
belgium too!

i had a blast! and i learned... absolutely no Dutch. well, i can read some, but i cannot understand a bloody word. i love canals, mini-cars, fun & exciting shoes, intercity trains, and parks in Amsterdam.

but my sleeping schedule is fucked up. i keep waking up at 4:30 am. both there AND here. it's weird. and it is messing me up damnit.

so anxious i could poo.

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 00:56:32 GMT

i leave for the netherlands on FRIDAY. the longest plane ride i have EVER been on has been 2 and a half hours. i am so nervous. just THINKING about it makes my heart pound.

and i am nervous about failing out of college. this semester has been really bad. if i can't get my shit together for finals, then i am screwed. note to self: LIVE IN THE LIBRARY STARTING DEC 1 .

when next semester starts (and the new year begins) i hope i will have accomplished the following things:

- lose 10 pounds
- get a permit/ license/ car
- get a job
- join the gym
- join a club
- attend class

i have to do well! and i need to start creating attachments here in the burg. to school, work, and people. otherwise i will NEVER succeed. and i hate customer service, so working in retail or with fast food is NOT an option for my life's career.

huh. kind of down today.

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 20:42:25 GMT

i think i have finally realized - i make more of an effort to see my friends than they make to see me. i mean, they have made many trips down here to come see me or to come get me. but it is more important to me than it is to them. they have their own lives up there with jobs, family, other friends, etc. even though i'm the one that left, i feel left behind. and i feel stupid for not making more of an effort to have my own life here at school. i'm so confused and so unhappy- i don't know what to major in or if i even want to stay in school. what's the point? i'm obviously not succeeding at school. if i do graduate, i will be mediocre in any profession. i wish there was more to life than the standard timeline of school, career, retirement and death.

i miss my friends, damnit

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 03:17:16 GMT

so i haven't posted in my journal for a while. and it is sad that when i DO post, this is what i add:

addelein (11:21:01 AM): amanda
addelein (11:21:02 AM): omg
addelein (11:21:10 AM): i met a gay guy, and he gave me his card
addelein (11:21:14 AM): it was hilariously wonderful
dochas22 (11:21:18 AM): haha
dochas22 (11:21:19 AM): nice.
addelein (11:21:38 AM): lol i was so wasted

dochas22 (11:26:09 AM): addy
dochas22 (11:26:12 AM): i need to come talk to you though
dochas22 (11:26:18 AM): like addy to manda time
addelein (11:26:19 AM): about what?
dochas22 (11:26:28 AM): a serious relationship
addelein (11:26:33 AM): dude.
addelein (11:26:37 AM): i'm sorry...
addelein (11:26:39 AM): i'm straight
addelein (11:26:40 AM): ;-)
dochas22 (11:26:43 AM): hahahahahahhaah
dochas22 (11:26:47 AM): fucking douchebag.
addelein (11:26:53 AM): bwahahaha
addelein (11:26:56 AM): :-D
dochas22 (11:27:10 AM): :-P

addelein (11:28:38 AM): yay! we can have a pow-wow
dochas22 (11:28:41 AM): sweet
addelein (11:28:53 AM): i had so many drunken pow wows last night... AND i ripped my pants on a brick wall
addelein (11:28:54 AM): right on the ass
dochas22 (11:28:58 AM): oh shit
dochas22 (11:29:00 AM): i need to go buy pants
dochas22 (11:29:03 AM): thanks for reminding me
addelein (11:29:09 AM): lol screw you, hippie
dochas22 (11:29:11 AM): i have a hole in my fav pair
addelein (11:29:18 AM): hahahha that reminds ME though
addelein (11:30:02 AM): my dad was being stingy about giving me money for europe trip, so i was like "that's okay... i'm sure i can find a place to sleep in the red light district" and he was like "...well... i guess now i have to give you money."

addelein (11:36:35 AM): i said something was gay, and he was like "i'm so offended" and i said "but i didn't say the f-word" and for like ten minutes i went on about f-words and g-words
addelein (11:36:40 AM): hahaha no i don't think so
dochas22 (11:36:46 AM): lol
dochas22 (11:37:07 AM): speaking of gays

addelein (11:37:08 AM): i can't be allowed out in public any more

addelein (12:33:36 PM): awww let's get back in shape
addelein (12:33:40 PM): ...
addelein (12:33:52 PM): i ate 5 pieces of pizza last night :x
dochas22 (12:33:53 PM): :\
dochas22 (12:33:54 PM): haaha
dochas22 (12:33:56 PM): dude!
addelein (12:34:25 PM): i was so drunk. i finished three slices, then i started hiccuping, passed out, woke up, and then ate 2 more
dochas22 (12:34:30 PM): haha
addelein (12:34:32 PM): all within like 10 minutes
dochas22 (12:34:36 PM): good lawd child
addelein (12:34:44 PM): it was a bad scene

addelein (12:35:20 PM): you know what
addelein (12:35:26 PM): i really take you for granted
addelein (12:35:52 PM): cos you're girly, but you're not OH MY GOD THAT IS SO CUTE EEEEE I MUST SQUEAL AND MAKE ANIMAL NOISES ANYTIME ANYTHING HAPPENS
dochas22 (12:36:14 PM): awe.
addelein (12:36:36 PM): and the "like, oh my god" accent was so over when the side-ponytail went out of style
dochas22 (12:36:52 PM): awe awe
addelein (12:37:29 PM): i don't know how we turned out like normal human beings, but thank your lucky stars
dochas22 (12:37:37 PM): dude
dochas22 (12:37:40 PM): who said we were normal?
addelein (12:37:44 PM): ...
addelein (12:37:49 PM): SHUT YOUR MOUTH
dochas22 (12:38:01 PM): DENIAL!
addelein (12:38:08 PM): ahahaha

addelein (12:38:20 PM): i want to go out to eat with you and vernon :-(
dochas22 (12:38:38 PM): hahaha dude
dochas22 (12:38:42 PM): i read that as
dochas22 (12:38:50 PM): i want to eat out you and vernon
dochas22 (12:38:52 PM): hahahhahaha
addelein (12:38:55 PM): hahahahahahaha
addelein (12:38:56 PM): ...
addelein (12:38:58 PM): isn't that what i said?
addelein (12:39:01 PM): hahahhhhahahahah

dochas22 (12:39:12 PM): hahahahahaa
dochas22 (12:39:14 PM): omg dude
dochas22 (12:39:14 PM): hahahaha
addelein (12:39:33 PM): wtf. the h and the a keys are our favorites
addelein (12:39:34 PM): ahahahahhah
dochas22 (12:39:47 PM): haaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
dochas22 (12:39:59 PM): i started painting my finger nails
dochas22 (12:40:04 PM): but got as far as my thumb nail
dochas22 (12:40:06 PM): and im tired
addelein (12:40:13 PM): lol!
addelein (12:40:17 PM): that is the worst i have ever heard
dochas22 (12:40:27 PM): lol
dochas22 (12:40:51 PM): this convo has ADD written all ove rit
dochas22 (12:41:00 PM): haha wait
dochas22 (12:41:04 PM): there is an ADD in your SN
dochas22 (12:41:11 PM): so there really is ADD all over it
dochas22 (12:41:13 PM): HAHAHAHAH
addelein (12:41:17 PM): AHAAHAHAHAHAHAH
addelein (12:41:19 PM): GET OUT
dochas22 (12:41:37 PM): AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA
addelein (12:42:07 PM): hahhahaha i totally added you to my profile
dochas22 (12:42:24 PM): lol
dochas22 (12:43:08 PM): fucking douchebag!
dochas22 (12:43:31 PM): i added you too!
addelein (12:43:34 PM): oh no!
dochas22 (12:43:39 PM): YES!
addelein (12:43:40 PM): hahahahahah!
dochas22 (12:44:01 PM): dude this convo has made my week
addelein (12:44:50 PM): omg. i saw this insane movie. wet hot american summmer- it was awesome. summer only has 2 m's. but anyway, this nerd kid is called a douchebag and he's like "well. a douche bag is a hygienic product. and hygiene is good. so i will take that as a compliment. yes, i am a douche bag." or something like that
addelein (12:44:53 PM): so random
addelein (12:44:58 PM): ... i think that's the right movie
dochas22 (12:45:06 PM): dude are you on adderoll?
addelein (12:45:24 PM): no, alcohol is just slowly seeping out of my pores right now
dochas22 (12:45:30 PM): hahaha
dochas22 (12:45:31 PM): ok

addelein (12:45:40 PM): my hair is so soft :-)
addelein (12:46:45 PM): yikes. my roomie wants to go to the gym
dochas22 (12:47:20 PM): ENDORPHINES!
addelein (12:47:33 PM): alright cujo, i think you've had enough endorphines for today
addelein (12:47:34 PM): omg
addelein (12:47:36 PM): have you slept yet?
dochas22 (12:47:55 PM): no lol
addelein (12:48:03 PM): omg

dochas22 (12:51:25 PM): son fo a bitch
dochas22 (12:51:36 PM): i jus got nail polish remover all over my face and arm
addelein (12:51:40 PM): hahahahahaha
addelein (12:51:52 PM): oh no!
dochas22 (12:52:00 PM): i put a cotton ball over the top and tried to shake it and yeah
dochas22 (12:52:02 PM): IN MY EYE
dochas22 (12:52:05 PM): BUUUUURNS
addelein (12:52:32 PM): okay, it burns, but i am having a crisis!! i just read that as "son fo a bitch" like "oh, that makes sense.. son fo' a bitch." THAT MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER
dochas22 (12:52:40 PM): hahahaha
addelein (12:52:55 PM): i really do feel fucked up
dochas22 (12:52:58 PM): lol
dochas22 (12:53:00 PM): ESPN!
addelein (12:54:08 PM): FOSHIZZLEMYNIZZLEUPINTHEHIZZLEDIZZLE... MY NAME IS DRIZZLE
addelein (12:54:11 PM): ...bizzle
dochas22 (12:54:26 PM): sho nuff
addelein (12:55:15 PM): hahah short and sweet
addelein (12:55:19 PM): PERfect
dochas22 (12:55:25 PM): lol

addelein (12:56:42 PM): i'm about to tell christina about your colorful thumb
dochas22 (12:56:48 PM): lol
dochas22 (12:56:55 PM): ill tell her about your pizza
addelein (12:57:11 PM): i told her i broke my hair straightener, she said "that is the worst thing i have heard all week" and i'm about to tell her THE WORST THING I HAVE HEARD ALL WEEK- your thumb
addelein (12:57:14 PM): lol and your eye and arm
addelein (12:57:30 PM): dude... she knows about the pizza, it was four girls on one pizza
addelein (12:57:33 PM): nothing remains
dochas22 (12:57:33 PM): damn.
dochas22 (12:57:40 PM): ill think of something.
addelein (12:57:54 PM): bwahahahaha
dochas22 (12:58:02 PM): im slick
dochas22 (12:58:04 PM): im witty
dochas22 (12:58:06 PM): and oh so pretty.
dochas22 (12:58:13 PM): but youre
dochas22 (12:58:15 PM): GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
dochas22 (12:58:20 PM): ...
addelein (12:58:21 PM): hm.
dochas22 (12:58:22 PM): i got nothing.
addelein (12:58:22 PM): omg
addelein (12:58:32 PM): what if the gay guy thought i was a lesbian in need of guidance
addelein (12:58:47 PM): cos he's part of some gay club in jmu, and the club's symbol is on his card
dochas22 (12:58:47 PM): well
dochas22 (12:58:50 PM): are you a lesbian?
addelein (12:58:55 PM): lol only on sundays
dochas22 (12:59:03 PM): i knew it.
addelein (12:59:48 PM): yeah, so, eeee. i really want to talk to him. but if i IM him and say "hey, i'm the drunk girl who said offensive things and cooed and ooo'ed and ah'ed over your homosexuality" he might not be very responsive
dochas22 (12:59:59 PM): OR
dochas22 (1:00:01 PM): he'll be like
dochas22 (1:00:03 PM): oh you.
addelein (1:00:16 PM): lol that's it? oh you?
dochas22 (1:00:25 PM): well yeah.
dochas22 (1:00:27 PM): this isnt show tunes
addelein (1:00:28 PM): ahhahaahahhaa
addelein (1:00:31 PM): HAHAHHAAA
addelein (1:00:32 PM): omg
addelein (1:00:45 PM): favorite IM convo buddy ever, starting.... NOW
dochas22 (1:00:48 PM): HAHAHAHA

addelein (1:01:55 PM): hm. i am going for a walk
addelein (1:01:58 PM): catch ya on the flip side
addelein (1:02:01 PM): home skillet
addelein (1:02:03 PM): with a fried egg
addelein (1:02:07 PM): with peppers
addelein (1:02:09 PM): :-)
dochas22 (1:02:27 PM): ihop.
dochas22 (1:02:32 PM): YOURE GOIN TO IHOP!
dochas22 (1:02:37 PM): SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES!

angry rant. :)

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 04:59:31 GMT

it really disturbs me that our country prefers a lovable but dumb country yokel (bush) in the white house than a professional, intelligent and just person (kerry). people say kerry's speeches are too convoluted and too confusing- well, it is not for lack of speaking english. it is lack of understanding the language, on the audience's part.

everyone should have the right to vote. i whole heartedly believe that. even convicted felons. but why do so many people vote when they have no clue what the issues are? "he's a strong leader." um.. okay? what does that really mean? break that down for me, please.

kerry has the right idea to move this country FORWARD. being able to seperate his religious beliefs from his job is very important- he is extremely open minded and sincere about working towards the benefit of the people, not the christians. MANY things will benefit from this. he also believes that america cannot stand alone. he is not deluded by american power- he understands we need allies we can depend on and vice versa. and he recognizes environmental issues. he also sees that issues HERE, in our country, have been extremely neglected. i mean. you cannot say these things about bush and keep a straight face.

kerry IS a strong leader- the problem is, people don't associate intelligence with strength.

it's a cowboy smirking as he straddles a nuclear warhead that really gets the american public off. well, yee haw, america. we have the fattest asses in the world, and i think it is safe to say we're not getting any smarter.

welcome to the new millennium. population: ignorant.

A sumation of the evening:

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 12:25:20 GMT

addelein (2:11:34 AM): i just puked all over the sidewalk and wetn home
addelein (2:11:37 AM): arrgggj
amanda (2:11:43 AM): ew dude
amanda (2:11:49 AM): happy birthday
amanda (2:11:50 AM): lol
addelein (2:11:52 AM): but plenty of margarita mix left over
addelein (2:11:52 AM): lol
addelein (2:11:56 AM): ahhaa forrrrreal
addelein (2:11:58 AM): omg
addelein (2:12:00 AM): hhaha
addelein (2:12:23 AM): everyone i s gunna be like "wft where did adrienne go??"
amanda (2:12:38 AM): haha
addelein (2:12:59 AM): hehe :x
amanda (2:13:07 AM): good luck waking up in the morning
amanda (2:13:10 AM): need me to call you?
addelein (2:13:10 AM): only me and you know i puked
addelein (2:13:13 AM): lol please
amanda (2:13:18 AM): and vernon
addelein (2:13:21 AM): call me at 10 if you can
amanda (2:13:29 AM): ok
amanda (2:13:34 AM): i have class at 10:30
addelein (2:13:35 AM): vernon?
addelein (2:14:10 AM): okay, call me!! i must go bed now
amanda (2:14:22 AM): nite
addelein (2:18:12 AM): i just puked more
addelein (2:18:15 AM): egggh
addelein (2:18:16 AM): omg
addelein (2:18:22 AM): tequila suicks
addelein (2:18:25 AM): rtne end'
addelein (2:18:32 AM): goondinigfhe!!!

smartass teachers, man.

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 16:38:36 GMT

i e-mailed my teacher for my test grade and i get this in reply:

No; it is against the law--as I have said in class more than
once.
LC

haha, well i fooled him, i don't GO to class. oh yeah.

piss off.

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 03:58:10 GMT

so i had cleaned up the living room and was in the middle of watching a movie with lit scented candles and it was a serene moment. but my roommate walks in, says she's watching the game here with her friends, turns the channel to ESPN, and then 10 people walk in. and now the music is all loud and they are loud and they are playing beer pong. midnight on a sunday night.

i really wouldn't even care if they would at least ask. you know, how hard is it to say "do you mind if we hang out here?" thursday to sunday morning it obviously doesn't matter, but SUNDAY NIGHT IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT. have a little respect, please. JUST ASK. i really wouldn't care if they would just show a little consideration for other people who actually have classes tomorrow.

whatever. maybe i'm an old lady. but fireal. i just want to go to bed. i hate it here.

not even day two, wtf.

Thu, 07 Oct 2004 04:49:57 GMT

breaking the habit

hour: 35

well. there have been ups and downs to this. some moments i walk around and take a deep breath and think about how FREE it feels to not smoke. and then there are moments where i am pacing around my apartment with a headache wondering why i quit goddamn it. i just experienced one of those moments- and- i did something i never thought i would do.

i smoked a cigarette butt from an ashtray. an outdoor ashtray. a cigarette that wasn't even mine! for shame. i was tempted to grab another, but quickly retreated inside. my roommate caught me. gross :( she offered to take me to the gas station for cigarettes, but i declined.

i'm obsessed with thinking about cigarettes. about how my life will change if i quit, or how i can budget them back into my life, or after every meal i think "ah, a cigarette would be good right about now." i see people on tv smoking and my mouth waters.

i'm so close to letting go completely. closer than i've ever been before anyway. and i look forward to clean lungs, a fat wallet, white teeth, fresh breath, no more stains on my fingers and nails, no more carrying a pack of cigarettes with me everywhere, no more 2am walks to the gas station when i run out, no more scrounging for coins under my bed and in the cracks of my furniture.

if i can wake up early enough, i may go out for a jog tomorrow morning and test out my lungs. it is early, i know, but i DO have a lot of energy.

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 02:29:04 GMT

... i think edwards & bush belong together. and cheney and kerry belong together. southern but dumb and smart but boring. i love edwards- i think he is intelligent, but when he sits next to cheney, he doesn't seem to measure up. edwards comes off as repetitive, aggressive, and desperate to prove moot points while cheney is cool and calm, short and snide. evil prevails and southern gentility just isn't enough. :/

but wow, what a great smile!

someone puked red koolaid in my bathroom and now there are red streaks everrry where

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 18:09:08 GMT

my dad's wife said i come home so often she's surprised i haven't dropped out of school yet. and wonders when i will. thanks. stupid pill popping vitamin obsessed menopausal whore of a manwoman with neurotic tendancies that unfortunately don't include suicide. >:o

i accidently let a secret slip to a friend about another friend. it was several months ago. i sat the girl down and i said, look- this is serious. it's not funny and it's not the hottest gossip, and you of all people should know how scary and damaging something like this is. and we talked for 20 minutes and she agreed not to tell anyone else. except the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD TO TELL. i found out on friday. now this other girl is spreading the secret faster than she could spread ebola if she had it. i'm not concerned about myself- i don't talk to the person this secret involves anymore. but i do feel guilty- no one needs their personal business aired like this.

kerry ruled the debates. and bush succeeded in making sure everyone knew that he knows who osaddama bin hussein is. silly bush, being president is hard work- we know, but that's why it is usually work given to real grown-ups. take a nap, a flinstones vitamin, and you'll feel alllll better in the morning- of november 3rd when kerry is president.

in other news, i resisted the "charms" of a townie on wednesday night even though he claimed to have three stooges bed sheets. thursday night i drank 40s with the vernonator. i ate thai food on friday. saturday we painted with watercolors. and today i got my voter registration card. boo yeah and go redskins!

life.

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 20:47:18 GMT

i went to a highschool with less than 30 students. one of the kids i knew there my senior year killed himself on sunday. he hung himself in the basement laundry room of his parent's house. he was a really friendly and easy-going kid when i knew him. and, as whenever anyone commits suicide, it is a complete mystery why it happened.

but today i was pouring over a poem by keats, an author who died very young from TB, and i couldn't figure out the meaning of it. i didn't agree with the two suggested meanings that were offered in the essay assignment. after finding out about CJ, i started working on the poem again and created my own conclusion.

i believe the poem "ode to a grecian urn" is ambiguous because keats himself did not know whether it was better to die young having lived a life appreciating beauty, or a life of immortality frozen in beauty. i think in the end, however, keats thought it best to live life, no matter how brief, having been able to experience change in seasons, a lover's kiss, etc. i don't think the poem is a question of desiring or pitying the urn, but a debate keats was having about his own life.

i wish i could attend the funeral. mr coffin is speaking. he is the teacher who makes speeches about the students who are graduating (and since graduating classes are usually only 4 to 6 people, he makes it personal.) and CJ, who dropped out, wondered to his parents what mr coffin would have said about him on his graduation. so the parents requested mr coffin speak at the funeral. it's so touching. i love mr. coffin.

out to lunch, ya'll

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 19:05:49 GMT

i practice my southern drawl
while in the shower
i become a southern belle
for just half an hour

well now, hello there, ya'll
and how do you do?
i'm jus' lil ole adrienne
livin' in JMU

i refuse to believe it
but the shampoo exclaims:
"how this mountain valley cage
has rotted your brain!"

i am no confederate
dove soap understands,
lawdy, i jus' want t'find me
a nice southern man!

HAHAHAHAHA. i have three exams this week, one of them is tomorrow. so far i have counted all my movies (142), started knitting a scarf, and i wrote this really retarded poem! GOD I AM GOOD.

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 15:53:02 GMT

i just had the most horrifying dream ever about torture, mutilation, and human behavior. in the dream, i was able to escape but i watched my sister and my friend die. it was really fucked up. and i had been tortured with meat hooks and nails and knives and i could feel every scrape and puncture. i woke up chanting "JUST A DREAM, JUST A DREAM!"

note to self: don't scream at roommate's boyfriend over politics :x

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 15:30:02 GMT

i got really wasted last night and got in a political argument with these 2 guys. well, i was on the sidelines for a while because, hey- if you KNOW you are fucked up then should KNOW you can't make a good arguement to assholes. but after they started attacking the one dude, i went in for the kill. they asked him three reasons he would vote for kerry and they would pick at his reasons and laugh and be jerks. i looked at the guy and was like "3 reasons why i am voting for kerry. 1- bush cut funding for basic research in science. 2- the economy sucks and people lost and are losing jobs. 3- i don't agree with the iraq war, but since we can't argue opinion, go ahead and argue me on 1&2."

the dude was thrown off for a minute- he started talking about reason 3, and i shook my head. so then (instead of going for number 2, which i know little about) he starts talking about SCIENCE. bad idea. so i start going on and on about the decline in the leadership of the US in science and technology, how science and technology increase jobs and definitely boost our economy, and that bush cut funding for basic research which screws both our leadership and our economy.

he said "what kind of science? you're not being specific?" and he kept bringing up alzheimers and keeping people alive, he wouldn't understand that there is science that is done BEFORE you get stem cell research so you know what a stem cell even is. he thought my beef was with stem cell research policies because he was very unintelligent. but he kept saying i wasn't being specific so i was just like "FINE, NANOTECHNOLOGY" and i was about to karate chop his head in nano-sized pieces, but he got lucky and my phone beeped.

hmph.

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 15:18:30 GMT

my mom left me a voicemail that said "hey adrienne, i was just watching dr. phil and it was about psychopathic killer children and i thought i would call and see how your week has been..."

and then she told me a story about the first time she taught me and my sister about sex. a story she told to her entire office yesterday. apparently we were watching tv and got confused about sex, so we asked mom what sex was. she got really excited and said "i'll tell you later!" and went and researched how to tell kids about sex. then she sat us down that night and explained everything. and confused us more than ever. she said we were shrieking with laughter throughout the entire sex-talk. after the whole talk, she found out what we REALLY wanted to know was: what does sexy mean?

but my mom said we could ask anything.

so a few days later, my parents were getting ready for work. and i came in and said "so dad, are you going to rip mom's blouse off and have sex with her?" my parents looked at me and yelled "WHAT?!" and my dad looked at my mom and was like "WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM?!" and they both lectured me about appropriate questions, etc. and after all that panic and yelling, they then said "but you can still ask us anything!"

so a few days after THAT, i went to my mom and whispered "um, you know how you said i could ask about S-E-X?" and she was like "...yeah..." and i got really flustered, because i didn't want to upset her again, so i said "well, um, when people have (low whisper) S-E-X, do they take their clothes off?" i think my mom realized at this point that her sex talk wasn't as effective as hoped.

please excuse my long winded excitement.

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 22:34:30 GMT

i have been having an awesome week.

last thursday- roommates had a party at my apt and amanda came down to see me. played beer pong and watched all 3 of my roommates do keg stands. we went to another house and some guy let me burn his ass hair with a lighter. :x after everyone left, we met a random guy at the gas station and me and him WHOOPED amanda's butt at beer pong.

friday- i decided to skip classes, go to ihop, then back to northern virginia with amanda. the guy we met at the gas station called, but we were already on our way home. vernon and i got chinese food and then bought the materials for a beer bong. we drank beer and mixed drinks that night. amanda left early though. :(

saturday- vernon made breakfast and it was delicious. we drove all over god's green earth to find thrift stores. we even ended up in bethesda, maryland. then we went to arlington and ate sushi! well, i got the salmon salad.

sunday- i stayed up all night saturday watching tv, so i was strung out and crazy on the ride back home. i slept all day.

monday- took and probably failed a science test. but watched monday night football with my roommate and that was cool. fucking vikings really pissed me off. hate to admit it, but the eagles truly rule.

tuesday- I WENT AND GOT MY PASSPORT PICTURES- OH YEAH. and a remote control for my bedroom tv! and an ani difranco CD, a bra, lipstick, mascara, and a cordless phone. (i went a lil overboard. :x)